It was Supposed to be Easy (Cheese)

Sometimes, when the mood strikes me (or when I’ve been beaten down by the constant whining) I let my son choose his own special food at the grocery store.  There is no need to read the label on this item—it’s pretty much a guarantee that it will be full of high-fructose corn syrup, numbered food dyes, or trans-fats—or quite possibly all three. But he’s seven, and I’m a sucker.

And so, that is how the can of Easy Cheese ended up in my house.  Because what’s more fun to a seven-year-old boy than eating “food” from a spray nozzle?  Holistic mommies be damned!

It all seemed so easy—my son was happy and amused, and I’d thrown him a handful of multigrain-grain organic crackers to give the whole experience a hint of nutritive value.  And then I dropped the can on the floor.

It took a mere five seconds for the pressurized can to discharge its entire load, erupting in a cheese-like fireworks display two feet into the air and turning my kitchen floor into an edible Jackson Pollock.

So if anyone from Kraft Foods is reading this, I suggest you put the following warning on the can.  “CAUTION:  Easy Cheese May Cause Unexpected Hardships, Particularly to Those Consumers Who Don’t Like to Mop Their Kitchen Floors.”

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1 Comment

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One response to “It was Supposed to be Easy (Cheese)

  1. Gina Rosati

    Lolz! You’re a good mom! Every kid needs a can of Easy Cheese during their childhood. And yes, it’s a good lesson to your children that anything under pressure should be treated cautiously … especially moms!

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